Doyoureallycare2, try posting and reading on the Friends and Families of Alcoholics forum here on SoberRecovery. Lots of people there are dealing with just what you are dealing with and will give you support, compassion, and wisdom from their own experiences.
There are "stickies" at the top of the index page for each forum. There are two stickies about abuse on the Friends and Families of Alcoholics page that will be helpful for you to read. English Garden wrote an eloquent series of questions about how the abuser treats his victim, and my story is there.
From what you write, I believe you are being gaslighted and are a victim of Stockholm syndrome. This is a very unhealthy situation, and as you get deeper into it, it gets harder to realize just how bad it is.
Try going to Alanon and finding some support. Reach out to your family and friends again. And understand that now, after this abusive brainwashing, you are seeing YOUR life through the lens of HIS perspective. Find people who know you and love you and can tell you the reality of what is happening to you. There is a better more fulfilling life for you.
ShootingStar1