Welcome to the forum.
I think you know the answer to your question as to if you can drink just a few socially.
We can only speak for ourselves and our experiences. Your story is not unique and I'm sure many can relate to the actions and feelings you described; I know I can.
For me, I spent years trying to rationalize drinking. I'm glad you are realizing it early on. I spent 21 years rationalizing. Now finally at 41 have quit. Only 50 days sober today, so very early on in my recovery, but so much happier now.
Not an easy thing to do, but the only option for me, 100% the only option.
Best of luck with your decision. Your goal is definitely attainable and life is much better without alcohol in it; IMO.
Tons of support here for you.