Old 08-20-2014, 11:34 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
jlakoduk
Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 17
I'm taking enough sleeping pills/anti-anxiety pills to knock out an Elephant! Ambien 12.5mg ER, Seroquel 50mg, Melotonin 5mg, Remron 30mg (all at bedtime, yet I don't sleep). 1mg Clonizapam 2/day, 75mg Venlafaxine 2/day, Fentanyl patch changed every 48 hours, Gabapentin 600mg 3/day, and I know there are others I forgot.

Main point being that I've been at a very low point mentally and physically for the past year. I was doing well last summer, walking 5 miles/day but now I can barely get up or down the stairs to the bathroom without either pooping my pants or pooping on the floor or toilet seat before I sit on toilet. I've also pooped my pants many times in the past month.

My son just turned 7 and I missed his birthday party due to my bowels. People treat me like I'm delicate. I very much dislike that.

I'm seeing a Psychologist, Pain Management doctor, my surgeon (I had my gall bladder, appendix, Spleen and pancreas removed in 2013 (luckily insulin producing cells were transplanted into my liver so I am not Diabetic.).

I've never been a drinker before the past 2 years but the depression, insomnia and anxiety I have now.

I have always been very successful in my career and was making a six figure income for years. But, since I've been sick (I was in the hospital for 8 of 12 months on 2012).

I have been diagnosed with PTSD and am afraid of hospitals now. If I even go past one I have a panic attack.

I am in a very bad place right now. Literally right now. My wife and son are gone today and I went out and bought a large bottle of Vodka. I have yet to drink it but, let me tell you, I am close.

The depression, anxiety, insomnia, bowel problems, everything!

I'm not to the point of hurting myself but I'm in a very dark place as I type this.

Thanks to everyone for the support.

- anonymous
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