Breaking down
AHs hearing was today and apparently he is still in jail because he refused to admit that he violated (how much can be disputed if he blew a .16 and was not supposed to consume alcohol?) I am trying so hard to just keep my mind elsewhere and go on with life, but I feel like I am breaking down. I just want to sleep and not have to face this pain. All day I am having to make myself go through the motions. Get up, you have to take a shower and go to work. Get up, you have to make dinner for the kids. Try to stop crying, the kids are getting upset. I feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into this dark place that I can't crawl out of. My family tells me to just snap out of it. I put everything into my marriage. Everything into loving a man with all of my heart, being honest and faithful. Everything into being a good mom and making a loving home. The last few years have been a living hell and I should be glad that he has left. I can't put my phone down though because I keep staring at it praying he will call. I feel like I can't do this anymore.