Since there is a lot of sadness and pain here I did want to jump in quickly and say how much I appreciate hubbie, Schnappi, for all the work he is putting into himself via Al-Anon. I've been no peach to live with and I appreciate his support and effort on his side as I work my way through therapy and finding my own path.
Did not want to hijack your thread Shellcrusher, you're going through and have been through a LOT. Tons of great advice here but wanted to let you know that things CAN get better, you're going through some of the toughest times though with everyone's nerves on edge. Hang in there hang in there hang in there.
Peace