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Old 08-14-2014, 11:06 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
schnappi99
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: MD
Posts: 658
Would suggest that you go easy on the high expectations.. I know it sounds good to have them but in my case that sort of thing was a mask for harshness to and dismissiveness of myself (and thus repression of my own feelings), with a corresponding blindness of what I was doing to others. In my case it tends to lead to judging and the pity party etc... it seems to me this is where self-care starts to show up, its not just eating better and getting exercise & sleep, but its treating yourself better too. That means you may have to be uncomfortable with yourself, perhaps realizing for the 1st time your contributions to the situation.

Accepting one's own sadness and learning to put aside the old habits of mind one may not even be aware of takes time and patience.. for a while I thought acceptance was more like a drop-and-run but that wasn't good enough I need to put stuff down like I'm laying tile- thoroughly, authoritatively, intentionally and in order, doing a good job, and then doing it again as soon as theres the slightest hint of the old tendencies.

found this link today;

Emotional Sobriety

and that was from BillW after a long time in the program, so maybe this is something one gets better at but is never done with.

I'm all for a cool head too...
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