I wonder, since a few of us feel the same about our jobs, if meaning is just hard to come by professionally. What I do actually is pretty meaningful - providing free information to the public through librarianship. I mean, it's a do-gooder kind of job. I just feel in such a rut with it. I manage the webpage, and it feels very distant and small.
Took a walk this morning, made yogurt and am canning garlic and hot peppers right now. I do find satisfaction in all the housework and cooking/canning/gardening I do, but it also feels kind of small in the grand scheme of things.
I think one of my problems is that I grew up as a middle child, and while my parents were very devoted and present in my life, I always sought out attention from them because both my sister and brother seemed to get more. They both had problems in school, my brother had problems with friends/drugs, and I was the "good girl," sort of flying under the radar with good grades and behavior. I think that desire to have someone always patting me on the back has followed me through adulthood. College was glorious for me because professors always fawned over my work, and I was a near 4.0 student. When I entered the job world, it wasn't so much like that anymore, and I craved it. Obviously, having kids is a largely thankless job in the sense of overt praise, and I think I still need outside assurance that I'm succeeding. I'm not sure how to build that assurance from within, you know?