Originally Posted by
jessiec 
I think it's fair to say that As tend to be selfish. And RAs do really need to be a bit selfish in early recovery. Which is not to say it's right or fair. Though that she is excluding you, etc, makes me think she's being passive-agressive and punishing you, whether she means to or not. Also, her body and mind are still adjusting.
Express your concerns, but be patient -- this might be all she can do right now.
Completely and totally agree. We A's are a rather selfish lot. I certainly know that at the beginning I felt like I was getting sober FOR HIM and I was doing it FOR HIM. Its taken time for me to realize I need sobriety FOR ME, because I was numbing away stuff that I NEED TO DEAL WITH. Your wife IMHO does sound passive aggressive which is something that is very challenging to deal with (my mother is in that camp and drives me nuts btw).
That said patience, while incredibly difficult, is likely called for right now however difficult it may be.
Peace