Early on in recovery things c&c and I got worse since she was not medicating anymore and I was all Getting With It in alanon so clearly had room to talk. <eyeroll> Both of us were on a hair trigger. It took a couple months for me to start wising up.
So now we have kind-of a recovery schedule.. she knows my meeting nights, she has some of hers during the day and does online stuff- perhaps AA as she sees fit so at least that isn't a source of tension.
Its tough early on... different tough as you get further in.. but it does feel better.