You can't do anything about her, her drinking, drug abuse or vile moods. You have the right to express your feelings, but doing so with any expectation of her acting on them is just not realistic. The only thing you can really expect of her is that she will be herself - with the manipulation, punishing you, using AA as a weapon to beat you with, all the rest. However, you have a choice as to whether you engage with it or not, or feel affected by it or not, and learning to detach with love is one of the greatest gifts of Alanon.
There are many, many issues in your post which will be dealt with if you continue to attend Alanon meetings, and 'Keep coming back!' is the best piece of advice I can offer. If you can find a sponsor you feel you can relate to, I'd strongly urge you to do so. You're asking if you've failed in your recovery... of course, the truism is that recovery is a journey, not a destination, and all you can do is your best - which will depend on where you're at, at any given time.
Focus on you and your own wellbeing. If you can really engage with the Alanon program, the choices you need to make will become much clearer.