I crested the 3 year mark in June and have done it without the help of AA or a 12 step program. I found my own way putting bits and pieces together as I went. I did a lot of reading and I spent a lot of time on this web site. These days I don't even really think of it that often - I am just a person that doesn't drink alcohol anymore. I actually haven't been on the site much over the past 12 months or so. I'm not sure why I felt the desire to check in today...
So yes, it can be done and it is done all the time. There is no need to use your incompatibility with AA as an excuse to keep drinking.