Guilt
I had 8 months of sobriety before my 1 day relapse and now I am at 1 month or so. I have stopped counting days as religiously as before.
I feel huge guilt and shame over my relapse. My parents told me that they cried. My dad looks like he has aged. It is just the two of us in the house at the moment.
It's hard at the moment. I don't have a job so...I am signing up for volunteer work and hopefully I will get volunteer work teaching English to some guy from Madagascar a few hours a week. Teaching is what I am qualified in and I would be happy to do this.
I feel like I am waiting for something. I don't know what though.