I think you've expressed everything normal that goes on in this type of relationship.
A break-up with an alcoholic/addict is a merry-go-round. It just takes some time to decide when you're going to jump off for good.
Hang tough, and yes, you will come through the fog. After a while it finally clicks that you can have virtually no expectations of him, because he will continue to be completely unpredictable. Sounds like he needs to know whether he still has you hooked or not...totally the norm for a guy who feeds on attention. Hang in there! Hugs to you.