Hi Dolly, our session was actually really good, if emotional (especially for me). I felt very seen and validated in 'my side of the story' so to speak. And I think she will create a fair and balanced space for us to share our experiences and needs. I really have seen how when I've stopped 'self medicating' my feelings away, I have had a huge surge of anger and criticism and resentment towards him. My husband is great in many ways and I love him dearly, but I also see there are very real issues that need to be addressed. It's my usual pattern to take it all on to me and say 'It's my fault, I should be better/stronger/less bitchy/more giving etc, and it's actually a big deal for me to stand up and say - 'actually, my feelings are valid and have a basis in reality and you play a part in this too'.
I'm a big fan of getting some outside eyes on the issues, and particularly in creating a safe space to pick apart some of the trickier topics without either of us feeling judged or blamed. I say don't wait til things are falling apart in a bad way. I think many people see couples therapy as a failure somehow - I see it as preventing failure. Getting stuck in when there's still a desire to fix things and before you've given up. Get support earlier rather than later
