interesting that you posted this today. My soon to be supposed RAH had the girls this weekend at his parents house. All seemed to go well except when I picked them up, he followed me out to my car, lifted up my trunk, put the girls stuff back there (despite me saying - no it's ok, thanks I got it) helped strapped the girls in and I thought I was going to hyperventilate. Having him in my personal space like that made me very VERY anxious.
wrong or right I sent a non-hostile text message thanking him for his help but that I am very uncomfortable around him right now and would prefer he would not.
WELL.
Here come the paragraphs of disdain from him. Let me type it verbatim
"you've been 'uncomfortable' for years. You kissed my A** goodbye along time ago and stopped treating me like I was a real person with feelings. I wish we would have done this sooner before the kids got in the way now we are stuck having to communicate."
Drum Roll Please...
"I probably would have stopped drinking along time ago if it weren't for the way you treated me. I squashed all of the pain of being alone and thrown away with alchohol while you watched the same Law and Order for the 10th time. How do you want me to feel? All happy go skippy?"
Responding is beneath me (at least today) but for the record, I have been trying to leave for at least 2 years but he convinced me to stay because "things were going to change"
I begged him to stop drinking long before I mentally "checked out"
Lastly, how conveinent that he has shared all his "reasons" for drinking with me over the years and none of them included me, until I left.
It is pathetic and sad.
You didn't cause it, you can't change it and you can't cure it.