Originally Posted by
honeypig 
Ah, but you give other folks a chance to help when this is the situation! I love it when I can offer to sit w/someone who appears new and/or ill at ease. I am thrilled to death when I can offer to share my book w/someone b/c they don't have one.
And I have learned to relax and let go (and a big part of Alanon is exactly that, letting go) when I go to a meeting I'm not familiar with. I know that someone else will be delighted to share their book w/me and help me along if I appear unsure of the format at any point. It's a great exercise in trusting that your needs will be met, even if you don't know exactly how...
Alanon can be pretty amazing.
Thats the point of my post...these things didn't happen at the first meeting I went to.! At the end of the meeting I stayed (because they say arrive early, stay late) and everyone grouped up and had their meeting after the meeting, so I tried to help clean up. Not knowing what the procedure was I asked, "what can I do"? The woman said "nothing"! No one aproached me and I stiod there with my face hanging out and finally left! I didnt try another meeting for over 6 months! It was not a good experience...thankfully when I decided to give it another try with different results. I have seen new comers treated differently depending on the night and the people who are there. I attend another meeting on a ifferent night that is
is sooo different and surprisingly there are a handful of folks who also attend that monday meeting...and they seem to be the helpful ones! But even still these group is also not overly warm to new comers...in fact I have yet to see repeat new comer attendence at either meeting and I have been going for 7 weeks now..
So dont quit if you have a bad experience!