I guess my discouragement is coming from me knowing that you cannot make someone want to get well. you cannot make them get sober. I worry that his alcoholism/dependency/self-medicating will be his biggest hurdle and I cannot fix that.
Yes, I want him out, but not homeless. I want him in therapy, and I am trying to think positively, but it is not easy at times. If I knew that we could fix people, I would be smiling to beat the band, singing halleleuia (sp) because I am one of the most determined people I know, when I know something is doable. I love a challenge. I never give up.
but, I also know that I cannot make him want to recover from using alcohol.
I guess I need to write down my goals... so I can see what my expectations are, and not see it all as one big thing , because it isn't my job to fix things for him.
I guess stopping the enabling is my job. And perhaps it will be possible to get him to try therapy, since he would probably do it to have internet access.
He needs to see how much he is using others, and why he is doing so. Why he never succeeds, when he has such a brain.
If you met him, you would never think he needed to live in a group home, you would think he was plenty smart enough to be independent. But I bet he would be so much happier..how come he fights things that could help him? what could be wrong with him,,, makes me crazy.
selfish, afraid, low self esteem, dependent, personality disorder? all of these?
I am not being brave, I am just blindly putting one arm in front of the other, swimming an ocean that I feel has no end. I know you say its a river, Dandylion, and I will have to trust you on that one
But I know that it often feels that way, before we learn how to use our power. I am sure I have some, I just need to not be afraid to use it.
fandy, thats a great price! think I will ask my d to check it out. she has a costco plan, I think. And as to chores,,, you have never seen anyone move so quickly through chores... but good idea, anyway, but the nagging to do it feels so wrong! like how should you have to nag a 42 year old to do their chores???
hugs to all.