ACOA here, and I can SOOO relate to what you said.
I have a hard time maintaining friendships long-term too. I don’t know why. I’m not real good at keeping up with people when we’re separated by distance. I don’t still have any friends in my life from a long time ago.
With romantic relationships, I used to either just leave them, or sometimes it would end in a big fight. My friendships usually end up like….we just lose touch.
“And yet I like being the center of attention” --me too.
I don’t mind being alone, most of the time. I think when I was a preschooler I learned that nobody was going to be there, so I might as well get used to it. I’ve always been a loner. I don’t say I particularly recommend it, but it’s how I grew up.
I have an issue a mile wide with being ignored. It really makes me angry!
Thanks for starting this thread.