Quack. That's all I see when I read the whole OP. Quacking from both sides. He's a dry drunk and NPD who will likely never get it, and you're still playing ostrich. Time will tell what? Time has yelled, screamed, and taken out billboards to tell you a TON. You choose to wage it off and continue to live in this deplorable situation. Your son is being bullied by his own father and you just let it happen. Really. What more do you need to gtfo?