This is an old thread, but I found it very useful this morning. I decided to add my own from an adult child perspective.
- It was not my job/my fault that my father was never able to stop drinking.
- It was not my job/my fault that my father’s health declined from alcohol related illnesses. I couldn’t erase the years of abuse to his body. It’s not my fault that he died alone and broke in a nursing home.
- It is not my job to “fix” my family of origin or to assume I know what they need to do to live a happy life.
- It is not my job to assume that I know how anyone should live their life. I don’t know their past or the lessons that they need to learn.
- It is not my job to volunteer for every committee. Groups can function without me.
- It is not my job to correct all the wrongs in the world. There are some damages that cannot be undone. I can just try my best to be part of the solution and not part of the problem.
I sometimes like to remind myself that the sun rose this morning without my permission. There are trees in my neighborhood that were there before I was born and will most likely be there after I am gone. There is so much in life that is not in my control. It can feel scary at times, but mostly it is a huge relief.
Thank you for letting me share.
db