Amy, I don't have children and can only imagine how difficult this must be. Do you think it would be helpful to try to decide what your boundary is, then communicate it to her and stick with it? Is your boundary "I will not sacrifice my own financial well being in order to give financial help to an adult child"? "I will not jeopardize my own serenity by rescuing my adult child from the consequences of their actions"? Those are just a couple possible boundaries that might apply in your situation. As far as answering the phone, if she's given to tantrums, then personally I would probably choose to set the boundary quickly, maybe even by e-mail or text, and then turn off my phone. But that's just me! Probably your best guide in these decisions is what will be least stressful for you. Good luck!