This is exactly what's happening to me too, my mother's health is bad. But she is only 68 and it's bad because of the drugs and alcohol. Last time I saw her she was looking frail but I have to remind myself that she chose this and does not want to change. She won't consider going into a treatment center (probably because she knows they would regulate her drugs and no alcohol). So I have distanced myself and heading towards complete cut off as I know if someone doesn't want help getting involved is just a spiral downwards for all involved. But it's difficult, last time she was in the hospital (pancreatitis of course) the nurses couldn't understand why I wouldn't take her home and take care of her. It's a pervasive mentality that we as children are somehow responsible for parents no matter what. <sigh>