Hi, first time posting. A little background...my mother did not raise me, she gave me to my grandparents who loved me and raised me as well as they could (she was 18 when she had me). She "asked" for me back when I was 14 and I went into a new house with a half brother and step brother I did not know. I was never part of her "new" family and it was made clear to me by my step father's relatives that I wasn't part of the "real" family. Mom and step father were both recovering addicts but fell back into it when I was in my 20s. Fast forward 32 years, I'm 50, step father is dead (he wasn't a bad sort but I wasn't his kid). My mother decided years ago she wanted to be a little old lady (she's 68 NOW so she's young) and started adding prescription drugs to her alcohol regiment. She fell out of bed a couple years ago after drinking a bottle of codeine cough syrup and broke her hip. Never did the therapy after, just continued to take pain meds and drink. During this she assumed it was my responsibility to take care of her. I was married to an alcoholic for years and it was her idea for me to go to Al-Anon. I did and I can now see that if I continue to "help her" it is dragging me right back into co-dependent and enabling behavior. She knows she is a drug addict and she doesn't care, she has said that when confronted. People around her also think it should be my responsibility to care for her as she's "not doing well". Of course she's not doing well! If the doctor won't give her as much as she wants she buys pills from a lady in her complex. Been doing that for years. I want to cut contact, but people keep calling me wanting me to "do something". They put me on the defensive trying to explain why there is nothing I can do to help her unless she wants help. My biggest questions are - is it ethically OK NOT to call these people back? (I don't answer my phone, let it go to voice mail.) I think I already know that it's more than ok to cut contact with her (my kids can't stand her and I have promised them they don't have to see her anymore). But the phone calls bug me because I feel like I should call them back, her friends, her sister-in-law etc. It really isn't my responsibility to take care of a drug addict bitch who didn't raise me - right? Thanks all.
