Hi. I needed to overcome being very undisciplined during my drinking period and examine my drinking patters like you did and take charge.
During that period I needed AA and it’s support at face to face meetings where I learned a lot about my drinking and how it will never get better if I’m an alcoholic and continue to drink.
Day by day I got better doing a lot of work on myself and recognizing my triggers ant using disiplin to overcome them.
Life does get much better without alcohol in the equation as we become comfortable in our own skin.
Reading the posts here are very helpful also in revealing the things we didn’t know then fixing them.
BE WELL