Originally Posted by
GerandTwine 
AVRT does not work without a Big Plan, and once I made that plan I was no longer "faced with this crossroad" that you refer to. I know that crossroad well. I was there many times, but the Big Plan put me through the crossroad onto a one way street that doesn't allow me to return to it, ever again. That one way street has opened up to an amazingly happy life totally free of any concerns about alcohol (or nicotine, or caffeine, or cocoa, or refined sweets (or ongoing recovery work).
Well, let me share with you an email I sent to a fellow-member here last week. This tells my story in a nutshell. After you read it, my question would then be, are you suggesting I haven't made some kind of Big Plan and that I might as well go back to drinking? Even if you were to say "yes" (and I'm not trying to antagonize here - honest! Hahaha!) - I can without a flinch say that I have zero desire to drink and wouldn't even if you told me to. Here's what I wrote:
"Aside from all of the consequences of my drinking (i.e. loss of motivation, lifestyle/health compromise, work/productivity decrease, relationship interference), I finally had a key component that is starting to really connect for me. I remember saying the last time I used AVRT which was a few months ago, that "Gosh, I wish I had just a little more to hang onto with this drinking as far as reasons to quit for good." - as if those consequences aren't enough motivation.
What was happening was I was justifying it all simply because alcohol has never been my DOC. It was always opiates, followed by benzos. Alcohol flips the switch for sure, but has always been more of a gateway. A few years ago I had a nasty relapse with pills that put me in an inpatient chemical dependency unit for (9) days to get off of a bunch of crap. I vowed (and that vow has gotten increasingly stronger over the past few years) NEVER to take that garbage again! I'm a very upbeat and generally happy guy, with no death wish whatsoever.
A couple of weeks ago I reached out to a doctor friend of mine via email one night (while on a bender) suggesting that I may have an issue with anxiety, just to see if he might be willing to mention Xanax or one of the other drugs. The next morning when I was sober, I was instantly thinking "ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!" - and I wrote him back and told him forget it. This happened once more the night before I got sober for good - Wednesday night. He wrote me back and suggested a couple of different benzos, and said if I needed a prescription he would give me one.
Thursday morning I woke up, ready to quit for good with the realization that even if I can't see the danger in all of the other consequences mentioned above, I know that I will NEVER take another pill or drug again, which now includes alcohol. Regardless of whether or not it is my DOC, or whether or not I've been able to more easily STOP drinking (however not stay stopped), it inevitably IS a drug every bit as dangerous and addictive as the other drugs of choice, AND it WILL take me back to the drugs I said I would NEVER use again."