At the first alanon meeting I went to the speaker talked about the alanon closing and what really resonated with me is that she mentioned that she hadn't ever heard from anyone that she didn't have to be perfect. It was a total newsflash for me as well.
This past weekend, I told my AH "I don't know what I'm supposed to do" a handful of times and I don't think I've ever actually said those words to anyone. Anyone. Ever.
Accepting that I don't have to be perfect is hard because for me I'm either chasing perfection or flirting with being a complete and utter failure. For me, the perfectionism stuff goes hand in hand with black and white thinking. I'm not perfect and the world isn't going to end because of it.
Actually accepting that I'm not perfect and just rolling with the punches makes me more fun to be around too because I'm not so annoying with something doesn't go as planned.