NWGRITS

So, I'm not sure what of this is ACoA and what might just be my Aspergers, but I figured y'all could help me figure out what's what. I have a hard time maintaining friendships long-term. Whether it's jealousy, boredom, or feeling like a doormat, there's always some reason that I end friendships. That's all fine and well, but it's the way I go about it that has me scratching my head (I'm working my 4th Step inventory again and digging deeper this time). I don't just end friendships with a "Sorry it didn't work out, but best of luck to you." No. They go down in flames. Bombing bridges to bits. I don't know why I do it. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I don't know if I'm scared of being the one to end it or what. I always end up starting some argument or saying something really unkind and having the tables turned to where they walk out of my life. I feel embarrassed and relieved at the same time. Why can't I address concerns with people like a normal human being? Why do I even think that these things warrant severing ties to begin with? I don't have many friends, and I like it that way. Trying to make conversation (especially with other women) is uncomfortable. I'd rather have dental work than be in a room full of people and have to talk to them. I'm a homebody. And yet I like being the center of attention (for what reason I don't know, but I'm guessing it stems from just trying to be seen as a child in my FOO). Anyway, this may make perfect sense or none at all. Is anyone like this or is it just me? I know some of my issues in developing real relationships are rooted in being ACoA. But what of the rest of it?