I believe deep down that they know what they are doing but they've let alcohol and other drugs (whatever it may be) take front and center and become an extension to their daily lives and rituals.
I smoked. I smoked for over 20 years and I could never imagine waking up and not smoking but for 9 months now (today is 9 months
) I have been waking up and not smoking because I want to more than anyone wants me to not smoke. Point being, I want to be smoke free like my RAH wants to be alcohol free and your hubby will have to want the same.
I remember feeling so hopeless. I know I prayed for him everyday! I even prayed that if God were to take him, that He take him and stop the suffering! Such a horrible thing to pray for but when you get stuck in Alcohell, you pray for the hell just to STOP.
My husband has a lifetime of drugs and alcohol under his belt and 20 years of sobriety too, until he went back to a full fledge, raging, alcoholic who almost killed himself on a motorcycle last July 3rd and STILL! STILL drank after I brought him home from the trauma center, took care of him, had brain surgery, quit and went back to it and almost lost his job!
I've yet to figure out why alcohol appeals so much to him when it's so damn destructive to his life. He can not have one drink of ANYTHING or it starts all over and it's a long, drawn out battle before he comes to his senses again.