Thread: Dangerous?
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Old 07-18-2014, 11:49 AM
  # 73 (permalink)  
Recovering2
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
I used to leave stuff around for my RABF to find as well. Alcoholic literature, I even left a great book I found. I can now see the problem with that. It just kept me caught up in the pattern of trying to help him, when he needed to help himself. It wasn't my job to educate him about his disease, it was his job to seek it out. Every AA group has all the literature you can think of on any related topic. Those rooms also include all the real experts on the disease...recovered A's themselves. Rehab programs can help set him up with resources in the community. Etc Etc Etc.

I know you're trying to help him, but give some thought to meeting him. I fear the message he gets is he is pulling you back in where he wants you. Any little bit of attention right now is exactly what he wants. The A will take the little steps....they are great manipulators and can play the game.

The bigger issue is your daughter, the innocent victim in all this. He needs to stop texting her and give her the space she needs right now to recover. IF he TRULY wants his family back, and wants RECOVERY (not sobriety) he will gladly give her the space she needs. He will put her needs ahead of his. His actions will tell you the truth.

Praying for you
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