sparky,
yes, i get it about compartmentalizing.
separating the voice out as apart from 'me' was hugely helpful to me at the beginning, and i did do that.
but ultimately i needed to be an integrated whole.
wasn't trying to argue with you or try to convince you. just that there are not only two ways to respond to triggers.
so often, i get caught up in either/or, when another option is both/and.