chicory....Bummer!...about the insurance and red tape issues. It seems a fact of life, these days that expecting ANYTHING to be seamless, when it comes to healthcare, is just a dream. Being in the field, myself, I am saddened to see what it has come to. Mental health sucks the most rocks, in my opinion. I climb on my soapbox quite often, about this.
At least he has some insurance, though. This just means that you will have to turn over more rocks. He might still go to the person out of your therapist's practice....just because he has voiced resistance doesn't seal the deal.
To be perfectly realistic---who likes to be told that they need mental health services?
We have come a long way--but our culture has a mind set on anything mental health...and, I think that the majority of people still consider that it is a "label" that stigmatizes them and sets them apart. I don't think your son is any different than most other people in this regard. I also think that males may be more resistant than females, in general.
Unless they have had some experience--most people don't know how this "stuff" works.
Since you are his mother--and, you all have been at odds over this---it is understandable, to me, that he might be suspicious of anyone connected to his mother's "shrink".
I think you responded well to him about this. Patience and a calm approach is probably your best tool, right now.
Personally, I would lean and rely on your therapist to help you unravel this particular wad of string. She has to deal with this kind of stuff all the time...so she must know where the rocks are. Better than you, at least.
It is also likely that whoever sees him first will end up referring him to specific other services, anyway. It is a diagnosis of some kind that is such an essential first step. If your son came to understand this fact--perhaps he would feel less threatened.
I do expect him to be a Grumpy Pants all the way there....until he gets connected to someone else outside of his relationship with you. He will see them as being on "his side"......just as your therapist is on "your side".
Remember that there is still another tier of help above this one that is there for help if this one doesn't satisfy the bill. It is a matter of being patient and tenacious. If he thinks he can abort this by just giving resistance....he is going to be surprised. LOL!!
On another note...I share your same fantasy of the cabin in the woods with a garden on the side. A real anxiety buster. There is something about the rythms of nature that is very soothing to the soul.
I appreciate your kind words. Actually, I could have used a few words, like "A little bit country;a little bit rock-and-roll". OR "Country Mouse;city mouse".
I think I am an example of the fact that help sometimes comes from outside of the family of origin, and, sometimes comes from unexpected places.
I never did apply for scholarships...but, a teacher who notices me came and offered me a scholarship (that he knew about). Another one came from a woman that I worked for as a nanny during my high-school summers. (I actually lied about my age to get the job--I was only 15!!!...my bad). She belonged to a sorority that gave yearly scholarships to a "deserving female student in need". She submitted me without my knowledge. And, I got it.
There was also the 3rd. grade teacher who took me to the public library to get my first library card.---that opened my world to books!! I was allowed to go to the l ibrary every Saturday morning (by myself) to see puppet shows and turn my books in for new ones.
I had a science teacher who I worshiped--I did a science project each year just so that I could travel with her to the competitions. Remember that school and work were my only outlets. I was allowed to walk to church, if I wanted to go. I went only because there was a small group of young people, my age.LOL
I had wonderful teachers--I owe a lot to them---IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS OF WEST VIRGINIA!!!!!!!!!
Chicory, I think my point is that..yes, we do have to work hard...but, we ALL have to lean on others at one time or another. I could never be where I am without standing on the shoulders of others---including my hardworking grandmother.
I think I should stop for now...lest I rewrite "The Winds of War"...LOL.
dandylion