I am going to say that the benefit of one glass of wine per night is not going to offset the need to continually drink. A neuro who knows the extent of his drinking problem is not going to continue to say he should do that.
What stands out to me was how miserable your life must have been before the shooting up incident. Checking to see if he is alive, drinking all evening and on the weekends constantly. What sort of life is that for YOU???
Take the focus off of him. Put it on you, what you need and want out of a relationship with your husband. Your joy is your 20 year old, what would you tell her if this was HER relationship??
It's good you have hobbies. Don't isolate yourself, open up to those around you so you have a good support system. SR is a great thing, but all people need face to face support from people who love them.
If I am not mistaken, you said on the alcoholics forum your husband said he would "try" to stop drinking. Someone who wants to truly stop has to come to the realization they must abstain completely or it will never work. Please don't minimize what has happened just a very short time ago in your home.
Tight hugs.