One of the first things the counselor told me AND MY 14 YR OLD DD in counseling is that I am not her friend. That I am her mother and it is my job to be her mom, protect her, and guide her. That I will be her friend when she turns 25 LOL.
My DD completely got it, but it was coming from a third party she trusts.
It's really hard when you just want them to be happy and healthy and make something of themselves. It is such a slippery slope.
Use your intuition, it won't fail you.
XXX