Yes, I'm primary caregiver and have had the primary home for 15 years. We have presumptive joint custody where I live, so we have joint custody on paper, with the traditional 1/2 summer and every other weekend visitation agreement at his dad's house. Holidays are split.
Those years passed and when she did allow us into her life again she said, and I quote: " WTH was my mom thinking? Why couldn't she just have told me stay there and shape up?" how sad is that. But I asked: "do you wish we would have fought harder?" and she said "yes".
I know a lot of kids I grew up with said the same. I just know that whatever green pastures his dad has promised over there aren't real, and at risk are the really important long-term things like his quality of education and basic health needs.