No advice. My kids leave in two weeks to go spend two weeks with their dad. One of my worst fears is that they won't want to come home.
My ex would never keep the little ones. The two older one's though - he might. They are easy kids to live with. It is the only thing that has kept me from going after the thousands and thousands of dollars in child support that he owes me - or all the money he owes for his share of the medical bills this year. Once again I find myself trying to manipulate the present to manipulate the future out of fear. If he convinced the older two that they should live with him - it would be hell to keep them with me. I might win the battle in court but I don't think I'd win the battle with them. I don't even know if there is an age here but they are 13 and 15 so close to it if there is. They love him and all the things he does with them. If they lived with him, and the two younger ones with me - I'd owe him child support.
They deserve all the things he does with him. They deserve a dad. He lives on the other side of the state though and he moved away from us - not the other way around. I could not be involved like I would need to be. He is NOT equipped to manage and coordinate their health and educational needs. He seems to get overwhelmed managing his own needs.
I'm sorry I got off on my own tangent. I share your concerns and am watching the thread. I wish I had some advice.