FT, I have a theory that once you become dependent on alcohol parts of your brain re-wire and you develop 'receptors' for it. While you stay sober it's not an issue, but even the odd glass of wine could awaken the latent parts of your brain that have an affinity for alcohol.
I see it as similar to a smoker gives up then has a drag on a friend's smoke. The brain recognises the pleasure and starts demanding more.
I recognise your wish for the odd glass with dinner, but I feel you might be endangering your sobriety, and eventually your husbands.