I love this article.
Its so true. I've looked at myself and thought that I was a failure if I left the father of my child. Somehow, I figured, this was taking away her experience of a whole family and it would be my fault.
But when I look at it like that, I'm reminded by myself or mother (2x divorced, rightly so) that its not me getting drunk every night. I'm the one that bathes, feeds, clothes, and teaches her, not "daddy" who can't be woken up to play or is too busy drinking while sitting on his boat in the driveway.
Its kept me stuck, I don't want to be looked down on for protecting my child's wellbeing. VA is very into the child having both parents in their lives, and often they over look the safety issues. My dad got full custody of my twin brother....and he got the same choking/punching and mental abuse that my mom received from my father. But...you know..."a boy needs his father"...