So sorry for the hurt you are feeling.
Unfortunately only he can seek sobriety.
It is not fair for you to put your life on hold for his behaviours.
Of course you want to help, of course you wish it were different but if he is not going to seek sobriety then you only have 2 choices, stay on the rollercoaster or get off the rollercoaster & save yourself.
You are doing the right thing even though it hurts.
Big hugs.