Hiya synfulv . I'm so sorry you are going through all this emotional drama.
I'm sure at least writing out that letter was freeing in a way .its good to vent .
To me , you seem very much on the defensive , with everything , like one big ball of stress.
Everything is a negative ;-(
There is a way out of this internal turmoil.
Try not to take every single thing that happens to you personally .
You need to let some things just go .
You cannot change other peoples behaviours or addictions , only they can do that .
I'm sure deep down , you love your Mum , but hate what she has done and said in the past .
I feel for you as i was probably that mum when i was drinking too .
We are different people to the people we are sober.
Keep seeing you psych to talk through your issues .
I thought your Mums email was a way of reaching out , mentioning the the pets was common ground between you and breaking the ice.
I sensed love in her message .
Perhaps write one back to her and thank her for her email but tell her how much she has hurt you . No getting angry or anything ...as a mother , that would be enough just to make her think .
I really wish you well , with a good dose of peace and happiness .
Keep posting , it's so much easier sharing with us instead of going through this alone .
There is ALWAYS Someone here to talk to .
Much love xx
