Sorry for the rant but if this is what you have to hear going to "meetings" etc I think I would hang myself from the ceiling immediately.
I am responsible for my actions, I made a choice to drink for 20 years and then I made a DECISION to never drink again.
I mean I decided I was going to either drink or NOT drink, but this in-between @#%& seems like self-torture of the highest order.
I truly respect the insight and analysis of many on this forum and would be interested to hear your thought. Thanks for listening.