meggem,
this is in regards to his parents.
When I was still married and couldn't take it anymore, I wanted his family, to know what was going on. It was because I was concerned for him, but I think in a way, I wanted them to take a 2 X 4 and hit him over the head and make him change.
They listened, but the response was, go to alanon. I thought that was the harshest thing that they could say to me. I later found out that it was also the most loving thing they could have said to me. His mother and 2 of his sisters had gone to alanon because of my ex's dad.
They knew that I would be dealing with my ex long-term even after a divorce and that they couldn't fix things for me or for my ex, and that they wanted the best for both of us.
I wish I would have listened to them then.