Originally Posted by
GerandTwine 
On June 12, you said:
A few weeks later here's your reasoning for violating what you presented as a lifetime pledge:
It's important to understand the importance of NEVER and realize that YOU really do have the capacity to not swallow alcohol ever again.
To know my Big Plan is solid, it is NOT important for me to know that each and every day all over the world, thousands of people are SUCCESSFULLY becoming commonplace permanent abstainers by making that identical pledge: "I will never drink again", because even if I were the only person I ever heard of who had made such a pledge, I know, for me, that pledge would still be absolute and rock solid.
My Addictive Voice would have loved for me to spout off "never again" before I really meant it. Before I quit for good, I certainly did lie to OTHER people about not drinking any more, but I knew better, myself. Do you believe you can lie to yourself?
This is an important point, G. I thought I could lie to myself.....I tried for years to do so. It never really worked, however. Deep down inside, I always knew I was in trouble and what I was doing was wrong for me.
Now that I have equated drinking with violating some moral imperative; a contradiction of what my conscious mind wants......it has become almost impossible to do. The mental gymnastics in which I used to participate simply don't work anymore. I can choose to drink or not drink, but I can't deceive myself about it at all.