Southern cross, if you were to have children with this man. Would he be there for you, would you be able to get him to support you emotionally and financially? Would he let you rest while he took care of the baby? Would you need your family to do these things? People do change they change all the time. I don't think any of us would of married your partners if they were drinking when we got together. If your whole married life has been a lie, that is a real worry, makes you wonder why he has felt he has had to lie? Maybe relationship counciling might be your first step to trying to understand his position first.