Sad Girl, what you are feeling is totally normal. Even if he was not good to you at times, there were other times that were good and times he met some of your needs. It is still a loss, and you will still need to grieve. Please don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. It takes time, and going through something like you are, it's literally one moment at a time. Just do the next right thing. Eat dinner. Do the dishes. Put one foot in front of the other and don't think about the future right now; the future isn't in our control. I would highly recommend Al Anon. It's not just a bunch of wives of alcoholics griping about their problems, I promise. It's really not about the alcoholics at all, it's about YOU. It has helped me so much. In fact, I don't live with active alcoholism right now, but I don't know what I'd do without it.
Lastly, 24 is young! You have plenty of time. No experience is a waste--you are learning a lot and you have a tremendous opportunity to grow from all this. We are here for you!