Feeling sad tonight
Missing him tonight even in all his sh*tyness, so hard missing someone even if they were bad to you, and the fact is we can't talk, there is a restraining order on him not to contact me, but even if we could it would be no good, all he would do is say sorry and I'd be right back where I was before.
So somehow I have to move on through the pain which I so don't feel like I can do, all the times we broke up before and I never allowed myself to fully feel the pain of not being with him, but it hurts, and I know I will get through it and I know I'll move on but right now I feel awful and it hurts like hell, thinking of the nice times breaks my heart, and how he could be so horrible and be so nice
How could he be so interested in the same spiritual things and then be that way, what was this connection about, the universe's idea of a good joke, I've had some rubbish relationship and I'm only 24, this one's worn me down, what have I left, not a lot at all, really not a lot left to give.