Chicory---I am writing this very reluctantly because there is no intent to diagnose. But an inability to focus can result in overwhelming anxiety and frustration---yet sometimes the same individual can hyper-focus o n some things--particularly, something they have a great interest in. In ADD or ADHD people can present in a great variety of ways. This is why I have pounded the drums so much for the idea of getting a diagnosis--simply as a starting point, of course. The thing is--that this kind of diagnosis must be made by someone who is experienced in this field.
I am caring about your boy---and I am caring about you. You both could use support and I know that both of you are suffering.
very sincerely,
dandylion