Welcome paultick.
I was older when I had my meltdown too. I had kept a lid on things quite well for decades, but it all fell apart. When I found SR I was drinking all day & absolutely miserable. There was no fun left in it & I knew I could never go back to being a social drinker. Knowing I was no longer alone meant the world to me - everyone here understood and didn't judge.
I'm glad you found us and wanted to tell your story. I hope being here will lessen your anxiety and help you heal.