CJ, I'm sorry. I had a few such anniversaries myself. Don't discount the chemicals at work in your body. They really are sneaky.
This probably isn't helpful, but it feels like forever that you've been such a supportive wife. I can't imagine how difficult it is to be so patient with a husband who is trying in recovery...who isn't yet able to meet your needs and might never be. It seems like a really really tough spot.
Perhaps I'm fortunate that mine didn't really try.
However, even to the very end I still had those longings and all those same feelings when I was with him (through his ridiculous abusiveness). I've come to realize that the "love" there was more my love-- my chemicals, sentimentality, loyalty, compassion and trust working overtime-- not mutual love where my needs were remotely met. And when I was honest, they weren't truly met before his addictions became his focus. I accepted too little. My X isn't interested in healing his emotional issues, which left no room for me...but grieving the loss of my 20 year vision was really hard.
And if I'd had an ounce of what FireSprite has, I'd still probably be there!
Hugs to you. You are an amazing woman.