Ignored red flags. Competition from beer and cigarettes. Losing him to his addiction. A child. Work. House. Routine. Moments of joy and peace. Moments of evil. Distance. Detachment. Silence. Lonely. ACOA ignorant twins.
RAH is 14 mo sober. His program is his own post rehab last spring with some step work and AA. No regular meetings and no sponsor or therapist. Not dry drunk but definitely caught in some patterns and unwilling to dig deep. To be honest I think he is still just trying to live each day sober and that is just where he is. I suspect one reason he is adamantly opposed to therapy is the risk of what it will uncover. I suspect there are secrets. Abuse, affairs, who knows, but I suspect there is a reason(s) emotions got buried that he refuses outright to acknowledge. He insisted he just liked to drink. But at the end, even he knew he was in he-- drinking. This cascade of events was already in motion when we got together.