Thanks all.
One thing about me... and I hate it... the more pressure I feel to act, when I am afraid or unsure, is to get depressed and shrink back. That's why I need so badly to come from a place of confidence in what I am doing.
I know that acting is the right thing to do. Its just I feel so alone...
Last night, I tried to talk to him again, and got the same treatment. He just acting like I am being ridiculous and don't know what he is doing (as if he is accomplishing something on the computer), and I told him that it isn't normal to never want to be around others.. to stay in his room avoiding me, and avoiding doing anything productive for his self. I told him he was simply being a parasite... I hurt now thinking of saying that to someone I love, but it is true. I told him that I will not live my life taking care of someone else, who can do for his self.
I am thinking of giving him the numbers to some resources, when I finally confront him, face to face with my support person. the employment rehabilitation place, forget the name, would probably be a good place, as they deal with helping all sorts of folks become employable.
I just freak inside, and feel so alone in this. I emailed his dad and told him to stop sending him money, as it is only used to buy beer and drink until gone. told him of my plan, and that turning off the computer will be the first consequence. He plays games with my son online all the time.
anyway, the butthead emailed me back... "Wont send money... you should have turned the internet off long ago. tell him to get a job and pay for it"...
My answer to his wisdom and patronizing attitude was "Well, maybe you should not send him games and new computer equipment. and there are a lot of things that WE SHOULD have done a long time ago.
He is an azz. a no it all, self centered and hides behind his second wifes kahonas. I almost laugh to think that it was probably her answering my email.... she does that.. and she did not know he sent money and equipment to my son..so her busybodiness and holierthanthou ways might have bit her in the big hiney.
she is no one to preach. she spent time in jail for embezzelment and moves from state to state,, wonder why? and to show you what a bonehead my x is,,, he ignored the fact that they had money to buy boats, take cruises, and new cars. said he always wondered where she got the money.. yeah, I bet. He only cared whether he had new fishing equipment or a boat or new metal detecting stuff. put the kids last, always.
still does. grandbabies have seen him twice, and oldest is 12 going on 13. I really despise him, because he always talks down to me and calls me stupid, basically. His wife does the same.
I have such anger about it. And now, to deal with our adult son by myself, it is just so hard, because his dad has ingrained it in his head too, that I am just a freakish over reacting biotch. Yet, to me, he says things about our son. but son says his dad understands him.. that man plays both sides of the fence, and at my expense.
I am glad you guys have my back, because I feel so weak and ill from the weight of this, but it will be alright. I don't have to move a mountain by myself... this can be done, a step at a time.
thanks and hugs all 'round